Post by ScreenHead One on Dec 27, 2022 14:49:56 GMT -6
Only In The Movies...
Cars, Trucks, Busses, Campers, Motorcycles, ATVs, Snowmobiles and Watercraft
- If a car rolls over, it blows up
- Semi-Trucks always jackknife during emergency stops
- City vehicles do not have brakes
- Box trucks always carry bombs, hit squads or high tech equipment
- No matter how much damage a vehicle takes, it can always keep going
- When a boat capsizes there are always sharks in the water
Airplanes, Jets, Drones and Hot Air Balloons
Spaceships, Satellites, Space Stations and Space Probes
- You can climb around on the exterior of an airplane in flight
- Fighter jet ejection seats usually do not work but if it does, you will end up in a tree or in high-tension electrical wires
- Hot air balloons always get shot by something...arrows, bullets, rockets, etc...
- The higher the technology, the more likely a drone will malfunction or become self-aware
- When a gun is fired on a passenger airliner, someone will get sucked out
Spaceships, Satellites, Space Stations and Space Probes
- Space probes launched into anomalies will be lost
- Satellites always get destroyed by asteroids or meteors
- Spaceships always have Earth-like gravity
- Space Stations blow up
Submarines, Submersibles, Underwater Bases and Sub-Surface Equipment
- Submarines always spring a leak
- Submersibles are always lost and can't be recovered
- "Moon Pools" in a deep underwater bases always lose pressure balance, flooding the base
- Underwater communication cables always attract sharks, especially if they need welded
Emergency Vehicles
- There will always be somebody blocking the path of an emergency vehicle no matter how loud or bright it is
- Ambulances always have a collision, most likely while transporting a critical patient
- Police cars usually wreck, most of the time into other police cars
- Air Rescue choppers always get delayed by high winds or bad weather
- Sharks bite and pull down ocean recovery choppers
- Lifeboats take on water or sink
Cranes, Bulldozers, Forklifts and other construction equipment
- Cranes always tip over
- Building cranes always fall down
- Wrecking cranes can use the wrecking ball as a weapon
- Bulldozers sink into the Earth
- Forklifts always operate by themselves, usually tipping something over or impaling someone
- A hydraulic component will always fail at the worst possible moment
- Anyone being chased by a dinosaur knows how to operate a bulldozer
- Wood chippers eat people
- Snow blowers eat people
- Garden tillers eat people
- When a piece of equipment breaks down, it always smokes
Computers, Phones, Smart Cars, Smart Houses and Automated Buildings
- Shooting a computer screen destroys the data
- Stomping on a phone destroys the data
- If a computer fails, the screen blows up in your face
- Your smart house wants to kill you
- The automated building you work in wants to kill you
- Automated buildings always have their own unlimited power supply
- Smart Houses are always impeccably clean and neat
- The government can listen to you thru your phone
- Your TV is watching you
- Your computer knows where you have been and what you have been doing
- Your computer can lock you in your house
- Your computer is in love with you
- Your phone is in love with you
- Your smart house is in love with you and despises your spouse
- The automated building you work in has automated weapons for defense